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onramp year two 2002
onramp year one 2001
Dustbin days- 2000
2000-07-18 - 18:21:13
"would we still be togeter if you hadn't gotten back together with her?" i wanted to say as we were sitting on my porch. but, it wasn't late enough for those questions and no beer truths because we had only shared one beer. he won't really drink with me anyway.he had to hit the road soon to make it to SF for a show. so our catching up would have to be for a later day.
we have known eachother for 8 years. we took driver's ed, and went to punk rock shows. we both had crushes on eachother and neither of us knew it. two years ago we were seeing eachother for about a month and that was jsut too werid and, for him, to happy to deal with.we stopped talking for almost a year because he got back together so he could be as miserable as he liked to be. last year we were both at a low point and he called me when i needed him most. we hung out and talked and got to be the friends who we are meant to be. at that time i was planning to move.
one night he tried to convince me to stay. that night ended with kisses that just weren't right. and we both knew it. we stayed friends but it made me feel like maybe there was still something there and it confused me.then i moved.
our conversation are short. things about settign up shows for his band, the lastest trouble we have gotten our selves into. we e-mail regularly. but i miss him. his is like my polar opposite.
his band played in my friend's basement the other day. when i hugged him i didn't want to let got. it was such a comfort. there is just something in the way that he is that lets me know that he will always be there for me.
i am happy where i have ended up. i just wnat him to know that i care for him. seeign him every 6 months or so leaves so much inbetween that we can't make up with long walks or even longer car rides. he is one of the few people i can tell that i love them. that used to scare me but now i understand that it is just natural. i love you gavin be safe.
***MICROCOSM PUBLISHING***we make 1" buttons, stickers, shirts, and patches. we also distro recrods, books, zines and more. this is how joe and i make a living
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/>small steps to things i need to do - girl-girl hate
