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onramp year two 2002
onramp year one 2001
Dustbin days- 2000
2000-08-05 - 04:23:01
i wish i didn't care and i wish i wasn't at at eternal one up battle in my head with my past. it shouldn't matter anymore. i got the CD of my ex-boyfriend's band in the mail and it sounds good. i wish i had that much arrogance, self love and pompusness to go along with a great album by salt lake standards. it is all such an inside joke with those kids. i really don't think other peopel would understand songs about FIGHT CLUB, the godfather, mikl and cheese, and hanging out in the summertime laced with inside jokes
i play my first show tomorrow. i'm not nervous i am just ultra self conscious cause, well, the boy on that CD was a boyfriend with perfect pitch. he also told me that my voice wasn't bad. now i try to sing and i am going to sing my fucking brains out in the process. i am really excited. it should be fun.but there is still that stuff i was thinking a few minutes ago when i was listening to his music. i don't think he really writes for it cause i know he is all into his own music and it must frustrate him to not have an outlet for it right now. here is what i wrote:
i wish i had left you. it would have left remorse.for the sumemr days.for those ceiling fan nights.for those we held on tight. i remember you. i remember us. i remember then. fuck it all now. it's not worth my time really. you fucked it all up, you know. i wouldn't have been so fucked up if you had been honest. the words. they stuck in my head. this isn't your music. this isn't you. it sounds plush. of the carnival variety. did you know i still love you?. did you know you guitar stands out like your voice. like your laugh. but i haven't heard either in over a year and a half. it hasn't been for me. it will never be for me again.i wish you were as fucked up as i am. you might be. but not for me. i hope i can lose myself in music as you have.
i want to tear it all apart.i want to hold mirrors up to your cliches. i want to hold you.
i can't see you playing second to a chump that used to have his comic books taken away from him in algebra. i donn't want to cry over you anymore. it has been months since the last time.
pirates beat the mafia by centries.... i'll see you on the open seas. then you can sing about the mafia and i'd knock on YOUR door with a cannon ball and a cutlas, make you walk the plank then we will see who sleeps with the fishes.
***MICROCOSM PUBLISHING***we make 1" buttons, stickers, shirts, and patches. we also distro recrods, books, zines and more. this is how joe and i make a living
BUY A COPY OF THE STOLEN SHARPIE REVOLUTIONG BOOK FOR $5 POSTAGE PAID
/>girl-girl hate - last days of summer, playing my first show and missign my joey.
