2000-12-24 - 06:33:36
my stomache feels all in knots nad i'm not sure if it is all the coffee i had. i thought i had practice tonight but i didn't so i hurried form cup and saucer where joe and i met a girl that might move into our house, way too soon. oh well. it is nice to be here alone for awhile. i'm reading salad days and i like even if it has more of a 90's feel to it than the 80's it is supposed to be. or maybe it makes me feel old that i relate so much. what kind of punk rocker would i be if i didn't identify with the alienation by others and the salvation of music?
it is so funny when i read other people's diaryland entries. especially if i kinda know them. it's kinda like reading the liner notes looking or a reference to you and the band will never know that you were in that crowd in salt lake city utah when matt from rancid got his nose broken back in 93. not that it matters but i think it is funny.
it's voyeristic and terrible yet fun and safe. no one gets mad but you fee like you are spying.
i've convinced myself that no one reads this cause i have told no one about it. who knows. it is just a way to keep me writing when i hardly pick up my notebook as much as i used to. i think it is cause iride my bike so much that i don't sit and wait for busses anymore or use my notebook as a way of beign anti-social.
still, other web diaries drive me crazy when you see horrible leaps of logic and flaws in the order of things and total ridiculous inacuracies in things that involve you, and things that don't. i realize that these things won't change and they are going to go on living thier lives and there is nothing i can do about it that will change. sure, i could write e-mails and describe to them in minute detail about how twisted their frame of reference is, but it is not worth it. they have thier world and i have mine. paul would be proud of me. he always said i was too afraid of being misunderstood but now i just don't care if someone thinks i am in stupid pop punk band casue at least i am doing something i have always wanted to do.***MICROCOSM PUBLISHING***we make 1" buttons, stickers, shirts, and patches. we also distro recrods, books, zines and more. this is how joe and i make a living
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