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onramp year two 2002
onramp year one 2001
Dustbin days- 2000
Tuesday, Nov. 06, 2001 - 2:50a.m.
joe and i have been debating about marriage and what role the reception/celebration plays in it. if it is for us or for friends. we have many conflicting views especially cause i see myself as being the one who will end up doing the planning cause that is what us girls are supposed to do right? ya, sure, whatever. joe also sees it as a way to get his friends from ohio to actually come out here.
we have also been feeling isolated in our own ways. i think it is that damn seasonal depression. it has been raining a lot. i think i saw the sun for a bit today. but joe and i talked over dinner and a very long walk home.it was nice. we needed that. then we read zines in bed together and got in a tickle fight. for some reason i coudln't sleep.i wrote like five pages in my notebook in the virtual darkness messy handwriting style and i still couldn't sleep. i wrote about coming to terms with different relationships and friendships in my life and what they have meant to me now and then and how they have changed me and how other people have been changed. basically stuff that will stay in my notebook.
so i got up and came downstairs. i got an e-mail saying that someone gets shit about recomending the three way split with three a.m. and journalsong because of things i wrote. it is odd cause i thought i wrote it like an open invitiation to write to me about it. (here is a link in my diaryland site that is a half finished version http://alexwrekk.diaryland.com/010508_71.html )but i have only gotten like 3 people actually do that. and i have written each a long letter or e-mail explaining things that they didn't understand, and most seemed to get it when i talked to them individually.i was expecting more people to write and not talk about me in other ways and places. i'd hate to say that it proves so many points.if the things i wrote about women's behavior is so upsetting then it seems to me to be something that really does need to be talked about. i have had more women say that they agree with a lot of what i said than argue against me. and maybe they don't need to argue agaisnt me. maybe just clear things up about my mis understanding and misinterpertations. maybe i see it all wrong but it seems like the direct action thing to do would be to confront me. it just makes me feel more alienated and alone and hopeless about ever understanding women in social groups. these things make me uncomfortable in a place that i am supposed to be equal. have i started out on the wrong foot? i never meant to offend or anger anyone but that is the way it has been taken. if the zine community isn't about an open dialog then i don't see what the point is, it may as well be an exclusive sewing circle.
i guess i'm gonna try to go back to sleep.-alex
***MICROCOSM PUBLISHING***we make 1" buttons, stickers, shirts, and patches. we also distro recrods, books, zines and more. this is how joe and i make a living
BUY A COPY OF THE STOLEN SHARPIE REVOLUTIONG BOOK FOR $5 POSTAGE PAID
/>stolen sharpie revolution letter to distros - i've been black listed and no one will tell me why.
